Vacation in Thailand - Day 3 - 6

12 October 2006 – 15:35 – Thursday – Chaiyapum

Reading David Lodge reminds me Thailand and the expatriate residents of the country. When one of the characters in the novel talks about the artificiality of Hawaii, the picture she depicts just fit to my mind as if the character actually talking about Pattaya or Phuket. Here is a few quotes from the page 176 of Paradise News:

Life here is incredibly bland. Nothing important happened in Hawaii since Pearl Harbor. The sixties passed almost unnoticed. News from the rest of the world takes so long to get here that by the time it arrives here, it is not news any more. ……. It makes you feel out of time, somehow, as if you have fallen asleep and woken up in a kind of dreamy lotus-land, where everyday is the same as the one before. Perhaps that is why so many people retire to Hawaii. It gives them the illusion that they won’t die, because they are a kind of dead already, just by being here. It is the same with the absence of seasons. We have a lot of weather, a lot of climate but no seasons, not so you’d notice. Seasons remind you that time is passing. I can’t tell you how much I miss New England fall. The maple leaves turning red, yellow brown, dropping off the trees till the branches are black and bare. Then the first frost: Snow. Skating out of doors. Then the spring shoots appearing, buds, blossom… here it is blossom all fucking year…

Grand mother’s health is getting worse every second. They took her to another house for a reason I can not figure out. For a patient in her condition, I would rather not to move her to anywhere else. I am alone at home. Everyone in the family went to see her supposing that this might be her last day. They even did not ask me if I want to come with them. I guess they don’t want to see a non-Thai who will look bewildered and shocked all the time around the sick person.

This is another thing about Thai society. When they are happy, they like to share their happiness with foreigners. But when it comes to a tragic occasion, a foreigner must be out of vision to make the things clearer for them. I am not bothered with this attitude but somehow being excluded from a family tragedy makes me feel sick as if I am a stranger. I am part of the family and I want to be treated as a part of the family. I try my best not to make mistakes against their well-known customs and I spend enormous effort not to offend anyone by my usual manner – like walking stiff beside elders, extending legs in front of parents etc… - . It was different when J went to Turkey with me. My family took her as a new member of the family. She ate what we ate, she went where we went and she was happy with being a new member of a large family. I never feel this warm welcome from my in-laws. It might be because I am usually alone in my own world with the books and they may not want to trouble me. I don’t know why! I only know one thing: It is very common to say Thai people are friendly, warm-hearted and tolerant. But I also want to add a few more things: It is very difficult to make a Thai friend –I don’t mean having a Thai girl-friend- because Thai people usually keep the distance with foreigners as if we are the rivals. I haven’t seen any foreigner friend who had a Thai friend for long time. I had co-workers but I rarely went with them. Is this because I am so anti-social? But I easily make friends in expatriate communities. I have friends from all around the world but Thailand! I had some Thai friends from gym but somehow we could not be strong friends to keep it long time. Once should accept that the easiest thing in Thailand for a foreigner is to find a girlfriend if the word means “walking together, shopping together and sleeping together”. Actually, it is considered girlfriend even only the last condition holds. I have a friend from Alaska. Due to the health issues, he used to come to Chiang Mai every year to stay up to 3 months and then going to stay in Antalya for another 3 months. But for the last 2 years, he stopped visiting Thailand. The main reason for this he told me later was being so lonely in a society where people keep the distance with foreigners. Basically, he could not make friends here. Now he is spending the other 3 months in Mendoza. Partly I am happy for him since he found a solution for his problem but I am also sad for myself because I lost the only chance to see him during his visits to Chiang Mai.

Anyway, I actually intended to write something very different but the storm of disappointing things deviated me from my target. There was a Japanese man at the hotel we stayed in the first two nights of our visit. When I saw him first, he was drinking beer in the morning at 7:30. I saw him in the same day around 9 pm and this time he was drinking whiskey. Next morning, I saw him again, on the same table drinking beer again. What a wonderful life I said to myself. He was already drunk in the morning and trying to throw a feather stick to a nail on the wall. I watched him reminiscently. He threw it many times but the feather stick dropped on the floor in each attempt. Then, the owner of the restaurant tried to teach him how to throw it. He failed as well. Two foreigner tourists were also watching them. They wanted to try. Each of them tried twice and they gave up. The game –what else I can call?- was gaining more attention from the people around. By the time I was leavng the restaurant, Japanese guy took the turn again It reminded me the short story of Italo Calvino… Mary the key!!!

I and J went to visit our tenant on Monday afternoon. Because we had plenty of time, we first went to Mo Chit bus station and kept our bags in a safe. Then, we went to Future Park. I met with a Turkish friend to give him what he has ordered from Vietnam for his two little kids. We sat and talked for 20 minutes about his military service adventures and the recent coup in Thailand. By the time we were ready to visit our house, the rain started. It was raining crazy but somehow we managed to find a taxi without getting wet. The lady who rented the house was welcome to us. We had a long chat on the problems of the school for which I used to work till June 2006 and she started working 3 months ago. I left a box of chocolate to her so she can give them to my students from last year. Wanted to visit them but time was limited and there were many things to do.
We left the house and realized that Bangkok is under the threat of a certain flood. All the streets were filled with water. As soon as we arrived to Rangsit-Nakorn Nayok Road, the traffic started and did not ease until the junction of Ladprao. It took more than 2 hours to get to Mo Chit bus station by a taxi. This time taxi driver spoke only when he wanted to complain about the rain and the traffic. When we saw the depth of the water level at some points on the road, he kept making the sound of “o hoooo!!!” as if he is supposed to pass it bare footed.

We arrived at the Mo Chit and took the bus for Chaiyapum. It was a comfortable journey. I slept for the entire trip…