18th October 2006 – 06:23 – HCMC
Arrival to Vietnam was quite easy this time. Nothing was surprising! The military-dressed custom officials, long queues in front of the desks, taxi drivers who ask every 3 seconds where I want to go and of course the sounds of honking cars… Everything was ok! I did not feel strange in Vietnam this time. I might be getting used to the invisible order in the chaos! I rejected all the taxi drivers and walked to the bus, which was waiting just 50 metre away from the exit door of the airport. I waited 10 minutes in the bus and then the journey started. I was starting to feel sleepy due to the meal I had in the airplane. Instead of putting my head into the book’s pages, I watched the city through the window.
Motorcycles were moving like ants! Their movement reminds me the rush of ants carrying grains of rice to their home. The main purpose of the movement is to get the best benefit for the future of the colony. Especially the workers live only for the sake of the queen and the queen lives only for the sake of the next generation. As soon as the queen becomes useless to the colony, workers eat the queen too. Eventually, the only thing the ants serve is next generation. The selfishness of productivity! These motorcycles were doing the same thing! They drive with the highest speed they can and they beep as frequent as possible to make the journey easier for everybody. I was not sure they were rushing either for reproduction or money but if we think human life as a whole, it is impossible to deny the desire to have children for a person. Then everything we make is a result of our desire for next generation. This is what we call “life”.
When there is no order in a system, the chaos evolves to order in a matter of time. Here the traffic can be considered as the system and it is determined by individual motorcycles and cars. There are certain rules, which are known to everyone but still they are not enough. There is a cyclic relationship between the individual vehicles and the traffic. They determine each other and at the end the best for all works. For example, the speed of an individual motorcycle is determined by the density of the traffic and at the same time density of the traffic is determined by the speeds of all motorcycles. –we can think of the average speed-. The chaotic scene disappears once a motorcycle enters into the system because chaos is only visible to outsiders. Those who do not observe the rules of the engagement from inside may not be able to see the order and how order is created by chaos. I think the evolution of living things can be understood by the same way. That is why we call the most primitive form of life as “selfish gene”. The sperms race for the egg and the strongest one can enter the garden of magic. The French feminist writer, Simone de Beauvoir, denies this process for the ground it supports masculinity of the society. In her famous book, “Second Sex”, she argues that the egg plays an active role when it lets the sperm gets inside. She also shows scientific studies regarding this rarely known fact. What she says is basically the egg chooses the best of the sperms which are somehow equally strong to enter. I don’t know what modern science really says about it but if it is true, it might change our perception of power struggles of genders in modern society.
After motorcycles I have seen the booksellers on the pavement. I have seen English or French books before but these were Vietnamese books. It reminded me Istanbul streets again… While I was looking out the window, I felt that the young girl sitting at the other side of the midway was looking at me as if she wants me to talk with her. I don’t remember how we started talking but soon I learnt that she is a high school student and simply wants to practice her English. I wish I could tell her that I am not the person she was looking for to practice speaking. I talked with her about her school and her preferences about the university. She said she wanted to study design. At that moment, I remembered that there was a very nice article in the newspaper I bought in Bangkok. I gave it to her. She was surprised as if I was giving her something valuable. She thanked me and gave me a paper crane she just made by using the ticket for the bus.
At Ben Than I walked shortly to the bus station. There were people everywhere. One funny thing about Vietnam is lady motorcycle drivers. They drive motorcycles but they do not ignore their health. It is very easy to see ladies riding motorcycles as if they just robbed a bank because the cloth they cover their face with shows them like burglars. I guess the function of the cloth on their faces is to protect their lungs from the dust and gas. They also cover their arms and hands with long hand gloves. J thinks that Vietnamese women care about their skins more than Thai women do. I think it might be correct because Thai women consider only about skin colour as the factor of the beauty. Since Vietnamese people have a lighter skin, they might be considering the smoothness and softness of the skin as a main factor.
Then I arrived at home. It costed me only 4,000 VND to come home. If I have taken a taxi, I guess I would have paid more than 100,000 VND. I liked the deal and happily entered the apartment. The room was smelly and the floor was dusty. I opened the windows and let the fresh air to come in. At the end, it was nice to be home… I say home although I did not really enjoy living here but as a simple person I usually feel I am belong to where I make money and where I keep my books, computer and letters… From this perspective, my home is Vietnam now and it will not change for at least eight months more. Then I will decide whether I will stay here longer or not.
After putting my bag down and giving a noisy breath, I said to myself –because there was nobody to greet me- “Welcome back home!”.
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