5th July 2006 – 20:35 – Home
One of the reasons why I like traveling by bus is books. Shaking up and down with the rhythm of the bus is like recharging my batteries. Since there is nothing to do other than hopping on the seat, reading is the best practice to forget the time and the bumpy road. Fortunately I was ready for this bus ride. I bought Ian McEwan’s ‘Endurable Love’ from a second-hand bookstore on Pham Ngu Lao Road one day before the trip. It has an intense plot, which kept my eyes open for the entire journey. Although this is the first book I am reading from him –except the book Steph’s mother gave to me which I returned it without reading- , it seems familiar. It is a sensual and a little bit sarcastic side of Kundera. He is quite realistic in his descriptions of love and I can say he is very good in defining deep humanly struggles such as fear, heroism, faith and death. A man who is victim of his own fears loves a woman and being loved by a strange man. I did not finish the novel but it will not take long. I am happy that I bought a good book and it made me return to regular reading schedules.
Trip to Cu Chi and Cao Dai was planned last Sunday. We went to Pham Ngu Lao Road to buy tickets. It was only 5 USD for a round-trip ticket so we even did not think much. On Monday morning, we woke up so early to catch the bus. First we took a public bus to Ben Than. Somewhere in the city, around twenty primary school children got on the bus with their young teacher. He was with them but his authority was quite useless on the bus. The kids were pushing each other, pulling hair of their friends, shouting, yelling, and laughing, crying, fighting for a vacant seat and even troubling me since I was the only foreigner on the bus. One boy behind me was constantly touching my shoulder and waiting for me to turn back. Neither he stopped disturbing me nor I looked back to be part of his game. J seemed to be troubled but there was nothing to do. They were kids and they were doing what they were supposed to do: playing games. I tried not to worry about them. Soon later we arrived to Ben Than. After having a little bit confusion about the bus which will take us, we were in the right place with a right guide.
While waiting for the bus to move, a little boy approached to the bus window. J was sitting on that side so I just told her to ignore him. The boy was selling chewing gum and we already had chewing gum. When he sees we did not want to buy from him, he looked at J straight and shouted “fuck you”. It was an irritating scene. He was a little boy with probably not more than 10 English words in his memory but somehow he knows how to curse in English. Those who send him to streets to sell the pirate products –Even the chewing gums are pirate here. Once you put it in your mouth, it melts in a few minutes and gives a feeling as if you are chewing a piece of paper- must also be teaching him how to swear. This is another interesting issue in Vietnam. People do not behave nicely here. Especially those who have been rejected become enemy very easily. It happened to me today as well. I was leaving a shop in the evening and at the other side of the door there was a middle-aged woman whose both hands were busy with bags. I opened the door and waited behind so that she can enter first. I did not expect her to thank me but I guess a tiny smile on her face would be nice enough for me to be happy with what I have done. She looked at me straight with the most meaningless face I could ever have imagined and entered the shop. I went outside with a feeling which kept me restless for a while. Had I done something wrong? Does she know me? I noticed how much I miss Thailand one more time…
We were lucky because we got the best guide. We did not see the other guides but somehow we were sure that this is the best one. He himself fought in Cu Chi Tunnels and lost many friends during the war. When he speaks, he also mentions the worth of life and family, beauty of peace and joy of having children. Apparently, he was very happy for being alive after all the fluctuations in his life. He was also very ambitious on doing his job and I guess his ambition was coming from his own personal history. He himself saw the bad sides of the life and left them behind. It is something like going to hell and coming back to tell people how terrible the hell is! He was coming from dark, fearful, bloody days and trying to tell us how lucky we are. How could we possible understand him? We, all the young people on the bus, have never seen a real war in our lives. We see suffering people on TV but that by itself does not help us to appreciate life or peace.
He also said that he has been to tunnels only once after the war and in that time he could not stay for more than 1 minute. The tunnels carry only sad news; remind him only lost friends and fear of death. Once he used to live there days and nights, now he appreciates the mighty sun and the cheerful rain. I looked at his face many times with a careful investigation. What I have seen was not only a veteran of a bloody war. I have seen the joy of life in his face, joy of having children and having a future of his own. He was an erected symbol of life, standing in front of us and talking about his family and friends. Although he talked for the entire journey, he was not boring. There are always things to learn from him and he always has things to say. Whenever he started talking, I stopped reading. Whenever he stopped talking, I started reading.
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