The City and The Dog
I was walking slowly on the pavings to go to my office. This is the road, I see every morning and these are the people, I see everyday… That is the same picture of everyday. I don’t know whether other people can notice or not, when I repeat same word many times, I realize that the word isolates itself from its meaning. The meaningless word occupies my mouth as a combination of some meaningless syllabi. For example, let me try to say the word “city” more than 20 times. City, city, city, city, city…… Now there is no meaning of the word “city” rather than two basic syllabi… When I repeat the words many times, it looses its meaning, why doesn’t it happen to this real city when I see it every morning? Why didn’t I get bored to draw same picture last 20 years… I wake up at the same time, I leave my home at the same time and I arrive my office at the same time for the last 20 years… When I walk, I always look at the buildings, cars and people… I am the painter of this picture. Today is not so different than yesterday or tomorrow. It is very ordinary day. That is again, same red light and same people, waiting for green one. Their eyes don’t say anything about their future… Hopeless, boring and fake-looking
While I was thinking on the necessity of waiting for green light, I left my meditation through a painful brake sound from a school van. There was a dog which didn’t realize that it has to wait for green light, was hit by a school van and hurt very heavily. It just wanted to cross the road. In that time, all the cars stopped, everybody was looking at the dog, suffering on the middle of the street. The door of the van was opened and a half dozen of students got out of van. They were blaming the driver for this murder and the driver was trying to send the students to the van back. Everybody was looking at the dog whose inner organs got out and the red blood was coming from its stomach. In that rush, one old man came and took the dog by a shovel to the rubbish bin 10 metre far from here. The dog went into the rubbish bin when it wanted to cross the street. Everything finished wıthin a minute. All the students got into the van. I saw one little girl, crying loudly until a grownup took her to the car. The school van went away very fast. Everything turned back its normal form. Traffic started to flow again… I looked at the cars, people and buildings again… I was still waiting under the traffic light. It is green again for me but I am still waiting. Everybody crossed the street but I could not! I looked at the blood which turned the asfalt grey into black. I worried about myself. What can happen if it is not a dog but me! What happened to the dog when it dies… I realized that, everything in the city disappeared in front of my eyes with the death of the dog. Traffic lights look like flashing lollipop candies… Pretty and unnecesseary… Life lost its meaning with the closedness of idea of the death. That was the dog, which is dead because it tried to cross the road during the red light. It doesn’t matter, what colour of light was on when I am dead! Even, there is no meaning of being a man after death. I was terrified a lot… If same thing happens to me, what will people do for me? They will take me to the rubbish bin by a hand-wheel. I couldn’t cross the street. I walked 200 metre to the bridge to cross the street. By this way, my walking is 400 meter longer but I don’t mind! I made the way 400 metre longer and I saved the rest of my life…
Ali Rıza ARICAN
May, 18, 2002 / Thailand
I was walking slowly on the pavings to go to my office. This is the road, I see every morning and these are the people, I see everyday… That is the same picture of everyday. I don’t know whether other people can notice or not, when I repeat same word many times, I realize that the word isolates itself from its meaning. The meaningless word occupies my mouth as a combination of some meaningless syllabi. For example, let me try to say the word “city” more than 20 times. City, city, city, city, city…… Now there is no meaning of the word “city” rather than two basic syllabi… When I repeat the words many times, it looses its meaning, why doesn’t it happen to this real city when I see it every morning? Why didn’t I get bored to draw same picture last 20 years… I wake up at the same time, I leave my home at the same time and I arrive my office at the same time for the last 20 years… When I walk, I always look at the buildings, cars and people… I am the painter of this picture. Today is not so different than yesterday or tomorrow. It is very ordinary day. That is again, same red light and same people, waiting for green one. Their eyes don’t say anything about their future… Hopeless, boring and fake-looking
While I was thinking on the necessity of waiting for green light, I left my meditation through a painful brake sound from a school van. There was a dog which didn’t realize that it has to wait for green light, was hit by a school van and hurt very heavily. It just wanted to cross the road. In that time, all the cars stopped, everybody was looking at the dog, suffering on the middle of the street. The door of the van was opened and a half dozen of students got out of van. They were blaming the driver for this murder and the driver was trying to send the students to the van back. Everybody was looking at the dog whose inner organs got out and the red blood was coming from its stomach. In that rush, one old man came and took the dog by a shovel to the rubbish bin 10 metre far from here. The dog went into the rubbish bin when it wanted to cross the street. Everything finished wıthin a minute. All the students got into the van. I saw one little girl, crying loudly until a grownup took her to the car. The school van went away very fast. Everything turned back its normal form. Traffic started to flow again… I looked at the cars, people and buildings again… I was still waiting under the traffic light. It is green again for me but I am still waiting. Everybody crossed the street but I could not! I looked at the blood which turned the asfalt grey into black. I worried about myself. What can happen if it is not a dog but me! What happened to the dog when it dies… I realized that, everything in the city disappeared in front of my eyes with the death of the dog. Traffic lights look like flashing lollipop candies… Pretty and unnecesseary… Life lost its meaning with the closedness of idea of the death. That was the dog, which is dead because it tried to cross the road during the red light. It doesn’t matter, what colour of light was on when I am dead! Even, there is no meaning of being a man after death. I was terrified a lot… If same thing happens to me, what will people do for me? They will take me to the rubbish bin by a hand-wheel. I couldn’t cross the street. I walked 200 metre to the bridge to cross the street. By this way, my walking is 400 meter longer but I don’t mind! I made the way 400 metre longer and I saved the rest of my life…
Ali Rıza ARICAN
May, 18, 2002 / Thailand
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