12 February 2007 – 20:10
A few days ago I have received an alert from a well-known teacher recruitment site. It was a short message saying some bad things about my previous school. The message had only three paragraphs and it seemed to me as someone did not have enough with the school even after leaving long ago. As a teacher who worked in that school for three semesters I would not say that the things written were wrong. I can’t say them they are all true simply because I have no proof about the owner’s last diploma or the manager’s degree. In fact I would rather to write more than the amount written if I had the grudge to start such a thing at the beginning. First I wanted to add more but then I realized that keeping this kind of anger will only hurt me since the feeling inside me is the only real cause and possibly only real result of the whole process. I listened to the inner voice and did not post anything. It is also because if the reputation of the school is destroyed then so did mine! I have experienced very bad days in that school beside some nice days. When I started there, the boss was P. Then emerging power of M and A took over the authority from P and sacked P. Somehow I felt sympathy to P because he was the one who hired me and he was also very friendly person. Then D came as director. She did not like the way M and A were running the school and soon she arrived to school she has changed M’s role to a lower position. A has been fired –or forced to resign- together with his wife. But D has not been welcomed by most of the teachers because of her unprofessional standings on various issues. Then F the Perfect emerged to solve all the problems of the school. F paralyzed D’s dominance and became the new king. He was articulate and hard-working. His professionalism did not give any space to sympathy to other hard-working teachers or any possible mistakes. He was like a Big Brother watching everyone, judging everyone, shouting everyone and even blaming everyone. These kind of behavior I call Machiavellism but for him it was in the sense of One-Man-Show as well. If there is turmoil in an environment, whoever has the highest volume of voice, that person becomes the king. F had a great voice with the ability of talking long time without interruption –although repeating same things several times- and he had a good background in education. So he was the new king and has been hailed by almost everyone as F the Perfect. We forgot all the past and attached him as the great saver. But soon everyone realized that – may be others realized this long before so I should rather say “my mind has been convinced”- F could not be more than a puppet same as the ones before him.
All these things happened in one and a half year period. Behind all these power struggles, there were two people whom we can call the owners. The owners (or the O) thought that changing the director or the principal can solve the problems of the school and can make the school a paradise of learning. I believe they both have good intentions to make the school a better place to learn and a bigger place to make more money. It is quite normal as long as they know the order. In education, money comes long after the education shows itself as a distinguished and indispensable part of the institution. However the mentality behind all these changes soon showed that school’s destiny is determined by the policies which are designed for daily non-educational purposes or at least the short-term solutions.
It is almost impossible to forget the day F came to my door to say that O decided to fire new Math teacher. The reason was beyond belief. D offered him a salary which is exactly fitting his experience and his degree in the salary scale that has been approved by the O. But the O did not agree with D simply because the new teacher was an Indian. For O, the reasoning was simple: If an Indian teacher replaces an American teacher who surprisingly left the school without a real reason, even though Indian teacher does the same job, he should not be given the same salary. Why? Because he is Indian! I told F that this will hurt school’s image outside as well as the newly recruited teacher and something can be done to keep the new teacher in the school in the terms of his contract without hurting his feelings and dejecting school’s status in the community. F went to talk with O and later on I have learnt that she agreed to keep the promise once given by D. The Indian teacher worked in the school for two months and we talked a lot during that time. He kept complaining about the unreasonably harsh speeches of F towards him. The last day of his contract he came to my classroom. He said how the things ended: F came to my classroom and said “Today is your last day. You can leave the school at 3 pm”. That was all! No thanks for your help, no walking with him for a while, no saying a few nice words. The Indian teacher worked in that school as an inferior person and F did not even look at his face directly while he was talking to him. For F, he was a teacher who was probably having the salary which he does not deserve. Then I could understand why he was so difficult on him.
By the way the struggles school had for hiring an Indian teacher made me feel about my status in the school as well. My English was not better than his English and he also had many years of teaching experience. But O never raised an issue on my salary. I have received same salary as my native-speaker of English friends. I thought about it and of course it did not take long to find the answer. I was white! Although I had black hair and brown eyes, my skin was white. What a shame! I even told J that time that I had never imagined I would be feeling disgusted about my skin color. I was white then it did not cause any problem for Thai parents or O. I felt shy whenever I talk with my Indian friend without explaining him the difference between myself and him. For me there was no difference. But for O, the difference was remarkable and must be indicated in the salaries as a huge difference. If he is paid same salary as I am, then he must be treated very unwelcome so he would not want to work in the school after the expiry of his two months contract.
However, all this mess made me very suspicious about the school’s real educational objectives. Then other things emerged as well… I have worked at three different schools in Thailand before starting at this school but I have never been banned to leave the school campus during the lunch break. It was simply banned because O wanted all teachers to eat only in the school cafeteria. I am not sure her main purpose was whether to make more money from teachers or to discourage the boat-restaurant from making money by the teachers because of a past controversy between the school and the restaurant-owner. I remember my first school in Chiang Mai where lunch was served by the school and free of charge to teachers. The director of the school was aware of the fact that the food served in the school cafeteria may not satisfy all the teachers so he was happy to compensate 25 baht to the teachers who wanted to eat outside the school campus. The amount of the compensation might seem very little but still comparing with the situation in my previous school, there is a huge difference.
Then a student attacked to a teacher on the stairs. No real punishment given to the student and he returned to school after a week as if he did not do anything wrong. The teacher resigned after the incident –or at the end of the term-. Curriculum was always a problem when I was there. When I started there we were following North American curriculum. Then we started to use IGCSE curriculum. Later on we returned to American Curriculum again. I think curriculum is something very fundamental to a school’s identity and it can not be changed by new appointed administrators. Then a teacher who did tutoring in the school after regular school time could not get his payment because O deducted the money for using air-conditioner during the teaching.
There were good things as well. Nowhere can be perfectly terrible! For example I have never had problem with salary payments. I should even thank to O for paying my last summer salaries which I was not expecting after being called “stupid” three times by F for breaking my contract. Besides the salaries I also enjoyed the sports facilities and presence of helpful Thai staff. I enjoyed the teaching environment which is the most important thing for me in a school. Although some students were ultimately spoiled by their parents’ wealth, most of the students were respectful and willing to learn more. In a Math class, I felt the students’ bright achievement in the exams beside their respect towards me and the things I have taught them. That was one of the main things which kept me in the school. Since I am a teacher and I usually start my teaching with building a reciprocal trust and love, I enjoyed teaching at my previous school. What irritated me –probably many other leaving teachers- was the administration and the way the school was being run.
However I am still against writing such a comment on a well-recognized web site which is being watched by thousands of teachers around the world. It is because the things happened, happened in the past and has nothing to do with the future. Things might change and the school might be a better place in a short time by a few professional hands. These hands do not have to have degrees from reputable universities. If O has a middle-school degree, it does not mean anything as long as she wants to invest in education and expects the return in long term. As a person of education I don’t believe in degrees. There must be enthusiasm, there must be willing and there must be sacrifices.
Now I am working at a very good school. Everything is well-designed and everything goes with the rules. There is no conspiracies, no personal fights and no gossips. Even though F wrote a letter to my present school to say things about me, the school ignored them after observing my professional attitude towards my classes and my students. After two semesters, students like me and I like them. Everyday is another journey for me in terms of teaching and learning. I have been promoted twice in the same contract year and I have decided to carry on in the same school at least one more year. Here an Indian, a Thai, a Filipino, a Turkish, a Canadian, an English are all paid equally and treated equally according to their education and experiences. Not according to their skin colors. For me, remembering the old days in my previous school is like walking in a blurred picture of a path covered by thorns and flowers. I had students as nice as flowers but I also had days as painful as a thorn can cause. I remember the day I could not keep my tears after realizing that students hid my keys after a long exhausting working afternoon. I remember the day O announced that all Filipino teachers (or coaches) must stay in school one hour more than other teachers do -30 minutes early in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon- without considering their contracts or even without asking them. I remember the day F came and exploded to my face just because I missed the morning flag ceremony. I remember the day F called me stupid. I remember the day I worked on the never-ending school’s schedule at the hospital, beside my wife who was still sleeping after the surgery. I remember the day I mentioned this thing to F and his saying “I don’t care what you have done in the past”. I remember the day I cried all evening at home and convinced myself not to go to school next day but in the morning still drove my car to the school just because I did not want my students stay behind the schedule of my syllabus. It is all past and we are all living in present. I have only one thing to say now. I hope with the great efforts of good teachers and administrators, my previous school can also be a good place for learning. As S said in her last e-mail, things are getting better and the school is becoming a better place. Then I can only wish them good luck in their journey. May be I was not passionate enough or brave enough to keep going there. May be I was more career-oriented than many other good teachers. I hope –really hope- that my previous school will be a good school in terms of education.
A few days ago I have received an alert from a well-known teacher recruitment site. It was a short message saying some bad things about my previous school. The message had only three paragraphs and it seemed to me as someone did not have enough with the school even after leaving long ago. As a teacher who worked in that school for three semesters I would not say that the things written were wrong. I can’t say them they are all true simply because I have no proof about the owner’s last diploma or the manager’s degree. In fact I would rather to write more than the amount written if I had the grudge to start such a thing at the beginning. First I wanted to add more but then I realized that keeping this kind of anger will only hurt me since the feeling inside me is the only real cause and possibly only real result of the whole process. I listened to the inner voice and did not post anything. It is also because if the reputation of the school is destroyed then so did mine! I have experienced very bad days in that school beside some nice days. When I started there, the boss was P. Then emerging power of M and A took over the authority from P and sacked P. Somehow I felt sympathy to P because he was the one who hired me and he was also very friendly person. Then D came as director. She did not like the way M and A were running the school and soon she arrived to school she has changed M’s role to a lower position. A has been fired –or forced to resign- together with his wife. But D has not been welcomed by most of the teachers because of her unprofessional standings on various issues. Then F the Perfect emerged to solve all the problems of the school. F paralyzed D’s dominance and became the new king. He was articulate and hard-working. His professionalism did not give any space to sympathy to other hard-working teachers or any possible mistakes. He was like a Big Brother watching everyone, judging everyone, shouting everyone and even blaming everyone. These kind of behavior I call Machiavellism but for him it was in the sense of One-Man-Show as well. If there is turmoil in an environment, whoever has the highest volume of voice, that person becomes the king. F had a great voice with the ability of talking long time without interruption –although repeating same things several times- and he had a good background in education. So he was the new king and has been hailed by almost everyone as F the Perfect. We forgot all the past and attached him as the great saver. But soon everyone realized that – may be others realized this long before so I should rather say “my mind has been convinced”- F could not be more than a puppet same as the ones before him.
All these things happened in one and a half year period. Behind all these power struggles, there were two people whom we can call the owners. The owners (or the O) thought that changing the director or the principal can solve the problems of the school and can make the school a paradise of learning. I believe they both have good intentions to make the school a better place to learn and a bigger place to make more money. It is quite normal as long as they know the order. In education, money comes long after the education shows itself as a distinguished and indispensable part of the institution. However the mentality behind all these changes soon showed that school’s destiny is determined by the policies which are designed for daily non-educational purposes or at least the short-term solutions.
It is almost impossible to forget the day F came to my door to say that O decided to fire new Math teacher. The reason was beyond belief. D offered him a salary which is exactly fitting his experience and his degree in the salary scale that has been approved by the O. But the O did not agree with D simply because the new teacher was an Indian. For O, the reasoning was simple: If an Indian teacher replaces an American teacher who surprisingly left the school without a real reason, even though Indian teacher does the same job, he should not be given the same salary. Why? Because he is Indian! I told F that this will hurt school’s image outside as well as the newly recruited teacher and something can be done to keep the new teacher in the school in the terms of his contract without hurting his feelings and dejecting school’s status in the community. F went to talk with O and later on I have learnt that she agreed to keep the promise once given by D. The Indian teacher worked in the school for two months and we talked a lot during that time. He kept complaining about the unreasonably harsh speeches of F towards him. The last day of his contract he came to my classroom. He said how the things ended: F came to my classroom and said “Today is your last day. You can leave the school at 3 pm”. That was all! No thanks for your help, no walking with him for a while, no saying a few nice words. The Indian teacher worked in that school as an inferior person and F did not even look at his face directly while he was talking to him. For F, he was a teacher who was probably having the salary which he does not deserve. Then I could understand why he was so difficult on him.
By the way the struggles school had for hiring an Indian teacher made me feel about my status in the school as well. My English was not better than his English and he also had many years of teaching experience. But O never raised an issue on my salary. I have received same salary as my native-speaker of English friends. I thought about it and of course it did not take long to find the answer. I was white! Although I had black hair and brown eyes, my skin was white. What a shame! I even told J that time that I had never imagined I would be feeling disgusted about my skin color. I was white then it did not cause any problem for Thai parents or O. I felt shy whenever I talk with my Indian friend without explaining him the difference between myself and him. For me there was no difference. But for O, the difference was remarkable and must be indicated in the salaries as a huge difference. If he is paid same salary as I am, then he must be treated very unwelcome so he would not want to work in the school after the expiry of his two months contract.
However, all this mess made me very suspicious about the school’s real educational objectives. Then other things emerged as well… I have worked at three different schools in Thailand before starting at this school but I have never been banned to leave the school campus during the lunch break. It was simply banned because O wanted all teachers to eat only in the school cafeteria. I am not sure her main purpose was whether to make more money from teachers or to discourage the boat-restaurant from making money by the teachers because of a past controversy between the school and the restaurant-owner. I remember my first school in Chiang Mai where lunch was served by the school and free of charge to teachers. The director of the school was aware of the fact that the food served in the school cafeteria may not satisfy all the teachers so he was happy to compensate 25 baht to the teachers who wanted to eat outside the school campus. The amount of the compensation might seem very little but still comparing with the situation in my previous school, there is a huge difference.
Then a student attacked to a teacher on the stairs. No real punishment given to the student and he returned to school after a week as if he did not do anything wrong. The teacher resigned after the incident –or at the end of the term-. Curriculum was always a problem when I was there. When I started there we were following North American curriculum. Then we started to use IGCSE curriculum. Later on we returned to American Curriculum again. I think curriculum is something very fundamental to a school’s identity and it can not be changed by new appointed administrators. Then a teacher who did tutoring in the school after regular school time could not get his payment because O deducted the money for using air-conditioner during the teaching.
There were good things as well. Nowhere can be perfectly terrible! For example I have never had problem with salary payments. I should even thank to O for paying my last summer salaries which I was not expecting after being called “stupid” three times by F for breaking my contract. Besides the salaries I also enjoyed the sports facilities and presence of helpful Thai staff. I enjoyed the teaching environment which is the most important thing for me in a school. Although some students were ultimately spoiled by their parents’ wealth, most of the students were respectful and willing to learn more. In a Math class, I felt the students’ bright achievement in the exams beside their respect towards me and the things I have taught them. That was one of the main things which kept me in the school. Since I am a teacher and I usually start my teaching with building a reciprocal trust and love, I enjoyed teaching at my previous school. What irritated me –probably many other leaving teachers- was the administration and the way the school was being run.
However I am still against writing such a comment on a well-recognized web site which is being watched by thousands of teachers around the world. It is because the things happened, happened in the past and has nothing to do with the future. Things might change and the school might be a better place in a short time by a few professional hands. These hands do not have to have degrees from reputable universities. If O has a middle-school degree, it does not mean anything as long as she wants to invest in education and expects the return in long term. As a person of education I don’t believe in degrees. There must be enthusiasm, there must be willing and there must be sacrifices.
Now I am working at a very good school. Everything is well-designed and everything goes with the rules. There is no conspiracies, no personal fights and no gossips. Even though F wrote a letter to my present school to say things about me, the school ignored them after observing my professional attitude towards my classes and my students. After two semesters, students like me and I like them. Everyday is another journey for me in terms of teaching and learning. I have been promoted twice in the same contract year and I have decided to carry on in the same school at least one more year. Here an Indian, a Thai, a Filipino, a Turkish, a Canadian, an English are all paid equally and treated equally according to their education and experiences. Not according to their skin colors. For me, remembering the old days in my previous school is like walking in a blurred picture of a path covered by thorns and flowers. I had students as nice as flowers but I also had days as painful as a thorn can cause. I remember the day I could not keep my tears after realizing that students hid my keys after a long exhausting working afternoon. I remember the day O announced that all Filipino teachers (or coaches) must stay in school one hour more than other teachers do -30 minutes early in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon- without considering their contracts or even without asking them. I remember the day F came and exploded to my face just because I missed the morning flag ceremony. I remember the day F called me stupid. I remember the day I worked on the never-ending school’s schedule at the hospital, beside my wife who was still sleeping after the surgery. I remember the day I mentioned this thing to F and his saying “I don’t care what you have done in the past”. I remember the day I cried all evening at home and convinced myself not to go to school next day but in the morning still drove my car to the school just because I did not want my students stay behind the schedule of my syllabus. It is all past and we are all living in present. I have only one thing to say now. I hope with the great efforts of good teachers and administrators, my previous school can also be a good place for learning. As S said in her last e-mail, things are getting better and the school is becoming a better place. Then I can only wish them good luck in their journey. May be I was not passionate enough or brave enough to keep going there. May be I was more career-oriented than many other good teachers. I hope –really hope- that my previous school will be a good school in terms of education.
I wrote this blog for only one reason. I wanted people who are reading my blog to know what happened in my previous year and how happy I am in my present school. All these opinions are based on my experiences during my one and a half year working in my previous school. I don’t think I have lied at any point or said something happened which actually did not happen. Then whoever has respect to the truth can either write to me directly or post a comment under the page. I promise I will not delete any comment posted here.
Well said, Ali. I had no idea that you got so much grief from this F guy. I guess we all got hurt one way or the other there didn't we?
YanıtlaSilAnd yet life goes on and we all must move on...
M
I'm sorry the warning brought all this up for you again, Ali - Siam was such a toxic place for so many of us, and I found it hard to even read your description. It's insane that so many awful things were going on, in so many areas, that we weren't even all aware of them.
YanıtlaSilI'm really only starting to recover from the whole experience in the last few months, I think. My class and the other students are in my thoughts a lot, and I hope things have improved since last year for their sakes. Nothing could make me go back, though. I can't really believe we survived it the first time around.
Take care,
Emily