13th September 2006 – Wednesday – 19:12
It was a hot afternoon. We tried to find an ATM for more than 20 minutes since the one behind the market was closed. Isn’t it ironical? People have ATM cards so they can have access to their accounts even at the weekends. But some banks close their ATM booths at the weekends. After walking towards city center we have found one in a shopping centre. There were two couples inside the booth so I started to wait. It seems like either they didn’t know what they were doing or they were having some kind of fun with the machines. Without making it a bothering issue for myself, I continued waiting. Later, one young man came to ATM and although he saw me waiting there. As soon as one couple left the booth, he entered the booth. I called him and told him that I was first. He ignored my warning as if he did not understand my words. He was a Vietnamese guy and I really did not expect him to understand. However, the gestures I showed by my hands and the expression on my face should have told something to him. At that moment, a young girl appeared beside me. She told him something in Vietnamese. I thought she warned him but it seems he did not care her words either. Then I stopped waiting outside. I entered into the booth. The other couple left the booth and I took the ATM they were using. The young guy used the one beside me and seemed angry. I didn’t say a word. He left the booth then I stayed a few more seconds to complete my job without any rush. Then I left the booth.
I am mentioning this incident here because this is third time the same thing happened to me within 3 months. People here never respect the queue! They just pass to the front side and try to behave as if they did nothing wrong. This makes me sick! Similar ignorance can be seen in traffic too. Last week, I was crossing the street during the green light. I was at the middle of the road and the light was still green. An expensive-looking car with a lady driver inside tried to come over me. I stopped at the middle of the road and pointed the green light. She saw it and made a sign to me with her hands meaning ‘hurry up’. She might think that I am slowing her down because I am crossing the road. I did not move for a few seconds, stood still in front of the car. Then the light for me became red. I walked a few steps to stand between two lanes. She moved with her head was moving to left and right as if she was saying to herself “what a trouble!” I was not regretful! After this incident, I have decided to do the same thing all the time. I might teach a few things to a few people even though it does not seem many in millions…
After withdrawing the money from ATM, we walked back to the Ben Than circle. There was a nice restaurant beside the market. Because it is a central area, there were so many tourists in the restaurants and most of them were eating Vietnamese noodles (Pho). We ordered our food. While waiting for the food, a little girl approached to us and asked if we could buy the things she sells. I usually respond peacefully to these little kids. But this time, because I was still angry with the guy at the ATM, I just rejected her even before she opened her mouth. She did not have a chance to tell me what she wants! At the moment I did not feel the pain but I felt that I did something very wrong. There was a French-speaking Vietnamese guy sitting just 5 meter away from us. He called the girl. The little girl went to him. He talked with her in Vietnamese and later I guess he asked her if she was hungry (I should have asked at the beginning!!!) Then, he ordered noodle soup and coconut juice for her. He and his French partner sat with the little girl and watched her while she was having her luxury lunch. At the same time, I was in shame! I was eating my own food but it was becoming more and more difficult to swallow. What did she do to become a street girl? What did I do to become a person who can reject a little girl without looking at her face? Neither she nor I chose to be what we are now! The question of Pamuk in his novel 'The White Castle' fits this sitaution very well: Why am I what I am?
After lunch we went to buy several things for J but my mind was busy with my shameless behavior. This reminded me the warning given to Prophet Muhammad when he ignores to talk with a blind man (http://www.al-islam.org/ENCYCLOPEDIA/chapter1b/1.html) . Qur’an gives a very straight warning to prophet for his behavior. To look down to poor and weak is one of the worst things one can do to himself. It is being blind to others’ problems and being ignorant to others’ lives. If I look down to poor, this shows only how selfish I am. The beggars fill the streets for only one reason: To teach us that we are still human (although rich or important or powerful or famous or clever or etc…) and they help us to keep ourselves to behave like humans. Otherwise, in a world of rush and money, we will not be able to remember the words like “mercy”, “favor”, “help” , “compassionate” etc…
I was thinking my childhood. I myself sold things on the streets when I was a child. I remember the weekends I used to sell cold water in the open markets. It was quite profitable job and I was making good money. But I remember not a single incident that I have been insulted or looked down. People usually praised my work since I was helping my family or at least to myself!
While I was going back home in the bus, I turned J and told her that we should have done it… She nodded slightly… I looked at outside from the window. There were people running away from the rain. A few children were playing in the water without caring about the weather. I looked at their eyes, the cheerful expression, the hope… I said to myself: Next time! Definitely I will do it… I will see the hope in a little girl's eyes while she was filling her empty stomach...
It was a hot afternoon. We tried to find an ATM for more than 20 minutes since the one behind the market was closed. Isn’t it ironical? People have ATM cards so they can have access to their accounts even at the weekends. But some banks close their ATM booths at the weekends. After walking towards city center we have found one in a shopping centre. There were two couples inside the booth so I started to wait. It seems like either they didn’t know what they were doing or they were having some kind of fun with the machines. Without making it a bothering issue for myself, I continued waiting. Later, one young man came to ATM and although he saw me waiting there. As soon as one couple left the booth, he entered the booth. I called him and told him that I was first. He ignored my warning as if he did not understand my words. He was a Vietnamese guy and I really did not expect him to understand. However, the gestures I showed by my hands and the expression on my face should have told something to him. At that moment, a young girl appeared beside me. She told him something in Vietnamese. I thought she warned him but it seems he did not care her words either. Then I stopped waiting outside. I entered into the booth. The other couple left the booth and I took the ATM they were using. The young guy used the one beside me and seemed angry. I didn’t say a word. He left the booth then I stayed a few more seconds to complete my job without any rush. Then I left the booth.
I am mentioning this incident here because this is third time the same thing happened to me within 3 months. People here never respect the queue! They just pass to the front side and try to behave as if they did nothing wrong. This makes me sick! Similar ignorance can be seen in traffic too. Last week, I was crossing the street during the green light. I was at the middle of the road and the light was still green. An expensive-looking car with a lady driver inside tried to come over me. I stopped at the middle of the road and pointed the green light. She saw it and made a sign to me with her hands meaning ‘hurry up’. She might think that I am slowing her down because I am crossing the road. I did not move for a few seconds, stood still in front of the car. Then the light for me became red. I walked a few steps to stand between two lanes. She moved with her head was moving to left and right as if she was saying to herself “what a trouble!” I was not regretful! After this incident, I have decided to do the same thing all the time. I might teach a few things to a few people even though it does not seem many in millions…
After withdrawing the money from ATM, we walked back to the Ben Than circle. There was a nice restaurant beside the market. Because it is a central area, there were so many tourists in the restaurants and most of them were eating Vietnamese noodles (Pho). We ordered our food. While waiting for the food, a little girl approached to us and asked if we could buy the things she sells. I usually respond peacefully to these little kids. But this time, because I was still angry with the guy at the ATM, I just rejected her even before she opened her mouth. She did not have a chance to tell me what she wants! At the moment I did not feel the pain but I felt that I did something very wrong. There was a French-speaking Vietnamese guy sitting just 5 meter away from us. He called the girl. The little girl went to him. He talked with her in Vietnamese and later I guess he asked her if she was hungry (I should have asked at the beginning!!!) Then, he ordered noodle soup and coconut juice for her. He and his French partner sat with the little girl and watched her while she was having her luxury lunch. At the same time, I was in shame! I was eating my own food but it was becoming more and more difficult to swallow. What did she do to become a street girl? What did I do to become a person who can reject a little girl without looking at her face? Neither she nor I chose to be what we are now! The question of Pamuk in his novel 'The White Castle' fits this sitaution very well: Why am I what I am?
After lunch we went to buy several things for J but my mind was busy with my shameless behavior. This reminded me the warning given to Prophet Muhammad when he ignores to talk with a blind man (http://www.al-islam.org/ENCYCLOPEDIA/chapter1b/1.html) . Qur’an gives a very straight warning to prophet for his behavior. To look down to poor and weak is one of the worst things one can do to himself. It is being blind to others’ problems and being ignorant to others’ lives. If I look down to poor, this shows only how selfish I am. The beggars fill the streets for only one reason: To teach us that we are still human (although rich or important or powerful or famous or clever or etc…) and they help us to keep ourselves to behave like humans. Otherwise, in a world of rush and money, we will not be able to remember the words like “mercy”, “favor”, “help” , “compassionate” etc…
I was thinking my childhood. I myself sold things on the streets when I was a child. I remember the weekends I used to sell cold water in the open markets. It was quite profitable job and I was making good money. But I remember not a single incident that I have been insulted or looked down. People usually praised my work since I was helping my family or at least to myself!
While I was going back home in the bus, I turned J and told her that we should have done it… She nodded slightly… I looked at outside from the window. There were people running away from the rain. A few children were playing in the water without caring about the weather. I looked at their eyes, the cheerful expression, the hope… I said to myself: Next time! Definitely I will do it… I will see the hope in a little girl's eyes while she was filling her empty stomach...
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